Practical Tools for Playing Well with Others
This is, by far, the best talk I've watched on communication. And I would recommend it to everyone I can. You should watch it because it's difficult to get the point from just my notes:
How I learned to stop worrying and love working with silly bags of meat
- Debugging a conversation
- Intake (misperception -> difference of perception)
- What do we see, hear, or read?
- Gorilla test
- That's not what I think I said
- Meaning (misunderstanding -> difference of understanding)
- decoding the signals
- When you say bla, what do you mean by that?
- Provide a base line (when people say bla, they often mean blabla, what do you mean by that?)
- Airline lose and find technique
- Significance (misinterpretation -> difference of interpretation)
- Why is the other person behaving this way.
- The path from significance to response is so deep inside us, and it's impossible to change
- Assume their response makes perfect sense given that interpretation
- Prebug a conversation (TDD a conversation)
- Don't let miscommunication spiral out of control
- A Few Helpful Tricks
- Think of 3 ways to interpret what just happened
- Ask, "What did you intend by that [surprising comment, question, action...]?"
- Communicate in E-Prime to reduce judgmental perception
- E-Prime: do not use to-be (to avoid judgement)
- Warn the other person when you need to say something uncomfortable